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Written during the height of the Covid pandemic in May 2020, this poem was written at a dull yet excruciating time for everyone. I personally was processing and recovering from a 5-year relationship that involved a lot of toxicity, unhealthy patterns and coping mechanisms that I was only just beginning to unlearn and mend from. Evolving from this (or at least trying to) at the peak of a period of social closure, isolation and despondency, this piece is about entrapment being both a mental and physical reality. Abandoning my vegetarian values for the sake of group harmony in a meat-eating household was the least of my problems.

Why does everyone want me to eat meat so bad

Why do I so casually say "death is sweet" when I feel a little sad

I want to eat the moon and the stars but the farther I go into space

The more trapped I feel behind these crooked bars

I welcome sleep with bitter disdain

But the same thoughts play over and over on my brain

Im drained.

I cant tell if this is pain

Or if I'm just broken

But someone had to be

Out of you and I

We didn't know it but we chose me



What is written cant be undone

But I don't know whose holding the pen

Or their intentions

Or if this is a game and

I'm just having no fun

Is this really for me

Is this what is supposed to be

Choose life, they said

But I don't know what that is anymore.

I feel like its been closed,

The door.

When can I leave?

Where would I go?

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