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Chewing Tar



I want it

Knowing I don't

Still want it

Knowing always it chokes

An intrusive bubble inside my oesophagus

Cloys my neural dilemmas

Initiating the emptiest of tremors

Inside my distant centre

And I,


I romanticise the feeling

The aches that taste quite nice

The aches that temper my sticky vitals as they start congealing 

The aches that melt like crystalline honey

Infusing my psionic membrane

As it slowly begins revealing


A simmering bid of wounding disguised as soulful desire

My own dirty little habit

I keep refusing to shake, evade or retire

Because something so nauseating and ugly

Makes me feel at home in my body

Whilst it sets itself on fire


Self inflicting these sour splinters entices me to reminisce on past pains 

Times bred by bland breadcrumbs so hungry I stayed

Feeding on ephemeral banquets of nothing

Hooked in by my own trap

I am just a pendant

Dangling from heaven's chains


And I'm caught.


Entangled by an absence palpable enough to deafen my dialogue

A flesh rotting soul crushing hell

I succumb to playing with my own train of thought

Someone's favourite toy in a world parallel


Still I have tried washing out that stain in me

The one that tugs on my craving for conquest

And comfort in grief

All the while my blue skin pines for another delicious bite

As she chews her favourite flavoured tar

Waiting for the sweet respite


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