Familiar yet completely brand new
Crossed and entangled
Still in separate corners
Twelve twelve,
Stuck like glue
I thought I'd been here before
Though, this time is different I'm sure
If it was up to me I would know the way
Stubbornly accepting that the forces at play
who love to keep me guessing
Have never led me astray
Yet still I feel the weight
and burden of emotion
The earth pulls me in closer
Gravity works harder, testing my devotion
As if the earth would swallow me up
and more than willing, I fall into her
Sinking further into the fresh breath of serenity's ocean
Not knowing where I end or begin
Coming undone
Simultaneously closing in
on myself like folder paper,
So thin
Enveloped in a landslide of
Oxytocin.
Formerly shut now open just before me
Is a door I once closed
Unapologetically
Brick by brick, layer by layer
The root-ridden cracks pull away from each other even further,
leaving me exposed
Disregarding my plea
I beg and say no to fate
Whilst she solemnly shakes her head right in front of me
Breadcrumbed day by day
Trickling in then pouring in waves
A suppressed wish clawing its way back to a
once was, now us, now we
Deju Vus become as lucid as checking the time
Wondering all day every day
when I'll get to call you mine
A spitefully negligent shade of blue
I could say that was you
Complimented by a blood-soaked crimson fiery hue
That's me
Bound together
Like a purple Scotch heather
The wind shaking the trees
That's what I'll always be
Sometimes though, I consider hating you
I'll lie to myself and say I hate the colour blue
Secretly raging at the moon
Self-restraint enforced and endurance as a main course
Still hoping to see you soon
Always having to remind myself of who I really am
That patience is a virtue
That I'm in like a lion and out like a lamb
All-knowing a belief system can shake some to their core
Never really knowing, never being sure
Never once asking, there must be more
"We'll never know" learning always to reply
Internally recognising otherwise
Disbelieving every precious syllable in a succinct deny
Peace and perspective is all I can consider
Stoic in my being 'cause mama didn't raise no quitter
And so I scream at the walls and I talk to water
White feathers grant me the peace and tranquility
I don't always know that I need
Whilst the crows sing and watch over me
Cold sweated palms feeling hotter and hotter
As the sun begins to set
me ablaze
Heart pounding and chattering teeth
Wondering why
my tears taste so salty